pragma cum laude (n.)

pragma cum laude is a noun related to both summa cum laude and magna cum laude, but whereas those two terms mean “with the highest academic distinction” or “with highest honors and praise,” pragma cum laude is defined as “with enough common sense and real world smarts to know what you want to major in from the get-go and stick with it; land a high-profile (un)paid internship; start the job search uber-early; ace those tests; wipe those brows; pat those shoulders; purse those lips; parse those words; pump those fists; plan those meetings; pimp that pod; launch the career that will set you for life; settle down in a studio, condo, tract home or villa; watch the 401(k); enjoy the new twenty-four-seven.”

It must be stressed that a pragma cum laude graduate may not necessarily have the highest GPA or test scores — in fact, studies show that most do not. Pragma cum laude graduates have been seen walking the stage at institutions of all levels — from four-year universities to trade schools and kindergartens. Though the derivations of the term are clear (‘pragmatism’), its origins remain unknown.

In use: “She was always so practical you know, and it’s finally paid off for her….That’s right, she’s been named pragma cum laude! Isn’t that wonderful?….Oh, I know. I couldn’t be more relieved.”